An Interesting Day in Morganville
by luvmorganville
Summary: What happens in Morganville when no one is trying to destroy it? What does Oliver do? Myrnin? Amelie? Read to find out! Read for laughs:D
1. Chapter 1

**Hi! This is my first story ever and I hope you enjoy it!**

**Oh, and plz no flames! Enjoy!**

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**An Interesting Day in Morganville**

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**At Common grounds-**

Oliver's pulling shots at the coffee counter when a girl walks in the store. She is a human who looks around college age, kind of short, has a pony tail, and a _very_ bored expression. She sits at the bar across from where Oliver is making coffee. She orders a mocha. As Oliver sets her drink on the counter, instead of paying for the drink she says-

"Hey, have you seen Erin?"

Oliver doesn't respond. He starts to walk away.

"Hey! Im talking to you!"

"What?" Oliver is irritated.

"You know, Erin? I mean she was like supposed to meet me here and now she totally ditched me." *a pause* "Oh my god! I think she went off with that guy from yesterday! That…that.. that.. ass!"

Oliver frowns at the girl and decidedly ignores her and starts working with coffee again. The girl, oblivious to Oliver's reaction, continues to badger Oliver with the story of her life.

"So yesterday, I was like at the mall with Massie and Erin and did I mention how crappy the stores are? Well they're really crappy, like they don't have anything! Anyway, so the point is, we were shopping, and there was this totally hot guy in the stupid store and all, and they were like totally drooling. Erin and Massie, I mean. Not me though, I have class, you know? And so we were like…."

The girl keeps talking for another half hour about her crappy life- mall, school, the works. Oliver's expression is stuck between clearly wanting to strangle her and wanting to cry. All of a sudden, the girl stops talking.

"Dude, are you okay?" She frowns, "I mean, I know you're gay and all that-"

"Who said that?" Oliver says sharply.

"Um...that guy, over there, Myrnin." She points at the corner where Myrnin is clearly laughing at Oliver.

"Myrnin," Oliver is glaring at him, "Myrnin is a fool," Oliver turns his glare at the girl, "And _you_ should walk away while you still can, little girl-"

"WHO YOU CALLING LITTLE, GAY-BOY?" the girl stands up and spills her drink all over the counter; Oliver steps back to avoid the spill.

"That's right walk away" the girl says loudly, and when Oliver doesn't move, she grabs a drink from the mouth of a random stranger and hurls it at Oliver and yells, "WALK AWAY NOW!"

She turns around and stomps away; she passes Myrnin who is laughing like crazy, "WHO _YOU _LAUGHIN' AT?" She grabs another random drink and throws it at Myrnin's fancy velvet coat. He stops laughing, inspects the damage on his clothes, and glares up at the girl.

Oliver and Myrnin rush at the girl and…

And that is the end of her.

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**At Amelie's house- **

Meanwhile, Amelie is watching TV and hurling swear words of the worst kinds at the screen.

"I hate you Bella!"

"Bitch!"

"Slut!"

"You don't deserve him, you stupid human!"

"Edward, I love you!"

Yes, Amelie, the founder of Morganville, the ice queen, the thousand year old vampire, is really watching Twilight and crushing over Edward Cullen.

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**At Common Grounds-**

After dumping the girls' body in a trash can and pinning the blame on Jason Rosser, Oliver is making coffee at the counter again. But people are now whispering and pointing and looking away from him. Everyone is whispering, except Myrnin, who is openly chuckling.

Claire Danvers enters the store and observes the scene with a quick, intelligent gaze- People pointing at Oliver. People whispering. Oliver glaring. And lastly, Myrnin snickering.

Assuming the correct thing, she turns to Myrnin, "What did you do?"

Myrnin's face is completely innocent, "Me? Why would I do anything?"

Claire doesn't buy his act, "Come on Myrnin. Spill it,"

"Okay" *pauses, then loudly,* "I told everyone Oliver's gay!" he starts laughing and Oliver is clearly thinking about tackling Myrnin right there.

"Oh no," Claire mutters when she sees Oliver's expression. She grabs Myrnin's arm and opens a portal, "Let's get out of here," She drags him inside and the portal snaps shut just the millisecond before Oliver's body crashes into it.

It is night now and everything's been quite for a while at Common Grounds. Oliver's pulling shots with a grim expression.

Eve enters the store and waves at some of the people she knows.

She nods at Oliver. He stares at her. She says, "What, too _manly_ for you?" she smirks, "How this, 'Hi Oliver…I mean, Olivia!'" She imitates a gay wave, complete with dancing fingers and girly giggles. She laughs and walks out of the store when Oliver glares and growls at her.

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**At some random house in Morganville-**

"No, it's not possible! It _can't_ be!" Kelly is shaking uncontrollably.

Her friend is trying to soothe her. "It is. Listen, it's not that bad, as long as you live by the rules."

"Why? Why did you tell me?" Kelly asks quietly.

"Because I'm your friend and you should know this since you're going to be living here."

"But… but, vampires don't exist! It's not real!"

"Yes it is, and you have to deal with it."

After a while of crying and shaking, Kelly asks, "So, that guy who owns the coffee store, is he a vampire too?"

"You mean, Oliver?" Kelly nods. "Yeah, he's a vampire too."

"You're messing with me, aren't you?"

"No," her friend says very solemnly, "Here, ask him yourself," She passes Kelly her cell phone.

With an uncertain look, Kelly dials the number for Common Grounds.

Someone picks up the phone on the other line, "Common Grounds, Oliver speaking."

With her heart pounding in her chest, Kelly says, "I _know_ what you are."

Oliver's loud voice booms into the phone, "FOR THE LAST TIME, IM NOT GAY!"

Kelly hears a thunderous crash and glass breaking. The phone clicks off.

Kelly stares at the phone helplessly.

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**At Common Grounds-**

After throwing the phone at the window and breaking the whole glass pane, Oliver roars, "WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS THAT BASTARD? WHERE IS MYRNIN?"

Oliver opens a portal behind him and steps into Amelie's house.

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**At Amelie's house-**

Oliver asks a servant where Amelie is. The vampire points towards the living room. As he steps near the room, he says, "Amelie we have a problem. I'm afraid Myrnin isn't well enough to live. So-" He cuts off mid-sentence as he notices what Amelie is doing. She is staring at the TV with an extremely upset expression and tears sliding down her cheeks. She has a bowl of popcorn in her lap from where she is throwing pieces of popcorn on the right side of the TV screen where the girl actress is speaking. When the boy actor on the screen says, "Bella, I love you," Amelie screams, "Noooo!" and flings her now empty popcorn bowl at the TV so hard that the TV shatters.

Amelie finally realizes that Oliver is standing in the doorway. She wipes the tears from her cheeks, straightens up, and glares at Oliver as if it's _Oliver's _fault that Edward had picked Bella over Amelie.

"What do you want, Oliver?" Amelie snaps.

Oliver seems to be at a loss for words. His gaze keeps switching back and forth from Amelie's shirt, which says 'TEAM EDWARD', to the destroyed, smoking TV screen.

"Nothing," he says quickly. He opens up another portal and leaves Amelie to cry over her rejection alone.

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**At Myrnin's lab-**

Oliver's steps into Myrnin's lab to find it in shambles. Everything in the lab is broken and destroyed. There are ripped books all over the floor. There are piles of broken glass all over. He looks around and finds the source of the destruction.

It's a human girl with a hammer in her hand. She smiles sweetly at Oliver.

"Hi, Im Massie!"

"And, what are you doing here Massie?" Oliver asks, amused. He obviously knows how angry Myrnin will be if he sees the lab right now.

"I'm destroying Myrnin's lab and when he comes back, I'm going to kill you both."

With that, she comes over and stakes a very surprised Oliver.

Twenty minutes later, Myrnin enters his lab. His eyes widen at the destruction. He spots a girl just as she brings down a heavy looking hammer down on the last piece of unbroken equipment in the room- a very sophisticated microscope.

The girl looks up, startled when she sees Myrnin standing at the door with a murderous expression on his face.

She looks down at her hammer and throws it at Oliver's head where it bounces off with a loud 'BANG' on the floor.

Wide-eyed, she points at Oliver's unconscious body and says, "Oliver did it!"

Myrnin grabs the girl and… well, you don't want to know.

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**Up in Heaven-**

Sam looks down as he watches the scenes unfold in his former hometown-Morganville.

"At least it's in HD"

He walks away, shaking his head.

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**~THE END~**

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**Review my story please!**


	2. NOTE!

**THIS IS NOT PART OF THE STORY, IT"S JUST A NOTE!**

**Ok, so, recently I recieved a private message on my account accusing me of being discriminative of gay people(s).  
Actually this is NOT the case. I am totally for gay rights, in fact I regularly attend meetings and walks hosted by my school that are Pro- Gay.**

**I just wanted all the readers to know that this story was NOT made as a show of hate to gay people; I just thought that the idea of OLIVER being gay was funny. Its not meant for hate for being gay- being gay is totally fine.**

**Anyone else who thought my story was a little offensive, I am deeply sorry; I was in no way trying to be rude or anything.  
**

**This story was only for a little entertainment :)**

**Ok, thanks for your time!  
Bye :) **

**~luvmorganville**


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